How to Shop for a Therapist

Finding the right therapeutic fit can be stressful. I’ve heard stories of therapists not calling clients back. Sometimes a client didn’t know what type of therapy they needed and found out months later that it wasn't a fit. My intention is to give you some guidance on how to find a therapist that fits your needs. 

You’re the consumer. Therapists offer a service. You have every right to ask the therapist questions about their training, capabilities, and areas of expertise. Questions you might ask:

• What is your specialty?
• How long have you been in practice?
• What areas are outside of your scope of practice?
• Is there a population or age group you prefer to work with?
• Can you give me an example of something you might suggest as an intervention for my problem?

There are so many therapeutic modalities and even more approaches to therapy. It helps to know what you need going in to therapy, but not knowing what you need is hard too! I've found that people come to therapy under the medical model - "I'm having an issue that I need help resolving right now." This is usually brief, solution-focused therapy. Sometimes it takes longer and that's okay. The point here is to monitor your progress and ask yourself (and sometimes even the therapist) if you're feeling better. Then there's the wellness model of therapy - "I'm here to better myself as a person or partner, gain insight into a behavior, have a place to breathe, and run things by a neutral person." You're not in crisis. This type of therapy can go on for years and that's okay if you're getting something out of it. 

As far as specific modalities, there are psychodynamic clinicians, which may help you build insight. Some psychodynamic therapists suggest meeting twice, sometimes thrice a week. It can be costly and exactly what some people need. 

There are CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) clinicians. You focus on your thoughts, behaviors, emotions, and the effect they have on one another. You can expect to answer questions in percentages, track your behaviors, and get homework. It’s more goal-oriented and exactly what some people need.

There are Internal Family Systems clinicians. This helps explore the different “maladaptive coping skills” as parts that develop in response to protecting the person's core self. It’s effective in addressing childhood trauma, suicidality, substance abuse, etc. and is exactly what some people need. 

These are just a few examples of different types of therapy. I think it's safe to say that most therapists fall under the “eclectic” category - a practitioner who uses a number of interventions and modalities - because we know that one style doesn't fit everyone's needs. 

I also recommend looking for red flags when interviewing therapists: Does the therapist get defensive in response to your questions, refuse to offer a free consult call, and neglect to call you back? If these red flags come up, consider moving on. Ideally, you want a therapist who’s supportive and open with good boundaries, not someone who's neglectful, overly rigid, or assumes you’ll be a good match without careful consideration. 

In short, get to know what you need, inform yourself about the different therapeutic approaches, ask questions, and interview at least 3 therapists. With a little work and patience you'll find the right fit. Good luck in your search! 

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