The Myth of "Overreacting"

We use the term "overreacting" to dismiss emotions that feel uncomfortable, inconvenient, or triggering. I’ve learned that from the perspective of the person experiencing the emotion, there's no such thing.

When we label someone (or ourselves through self-gaslighting) as "overreacting," we're imposing an external metric on an internal experience. What an observer sees as an "overreaction" is almost always the tip of the iceberg. The person is rarely reacting solely to the present moment; they're reacting to the cumulative weight of their past experiences, unmet needs, and protective instincts.

The nervous system is not "too sensitive," it's perfectly calibrated to a person's history. When we judge a reaction as "too big," we silence the underlying truth it's trying to communicate. Instead of judging, maybe we can be curious with the "overreactor" or ourselves when we're having those big emotions. 

Next time you feel the urge to label an emotional response as an "overreaction," try asking: What is this reaction guarding? What information is it trying to relay? Every reaction is data. When we move from judgment to investigation, we stop silencing our experiences and start honoring the complex, protective work our nervous systems are doing every day.

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